FML, finally managed to look into why the electrics on the driver’s seat don’t work.
Checked the plugs under the seat, and found this.
A disconnected and taped up yellow wire,
and a large plug that was disconnected. the other half was stuck under the seat.
I checked the wiring on the passenger’s side, which does work, and the big plug was connected. Disconnected it and the electrics stopped working. Ok, obviously the large plug has the heater and lumbar wiring in it.
I fished the plug out from under the seat and plugged it in. Noticed the clip on the plug was broken off, so used a ziptie to hold it together. Tested, heating and lumbar both work now, but as soon as the ignition is turned on I get an airbag light. FML.
Will try disconnecting the battery later, but I feel I might have to VAGCOM it. Not sure what the yellow wire is, but didn’t touch that one. Stoked though, thought the heater on the seat was working but slow and shitty, but apparently not. it’s a flipping furnace after only a couple of minutes turned on, most excellent.
Borrowed the Launch CRP129 from work in the hopes of resetting the airbag light I triggered.
Plugged it in, read the code (something about driver’s seat airbag trigger unreadable), cleared the code successfully and so far it hasn’t come back. Hopefully it’s gone for good. In the meantime, my backside is super toasty and the lumbar support works again.